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Uncle Peters 
Proposal 



By 
W. T. NEWTON 



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Bugbee's Popular Plays 

Uncle Peters 
<£ <* Proposal 

BY 
W. T. NEWTON 



Author of "Uncle Eben's S'prise Party" and "Darktown Social 
Betterment S'ciety." 



Copyright, 1918, by Willis N. Bugbee 



THE WILLIS N. BUGBEE CO. 

SYRACUSE, N. Y. 



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Uncle Peter's Proposal 

CHARACTERS 

Uncle Peter Green, a Widower. 
Aunt Polly Perkins, a Spinster. 
Bob Green, a Nephew of Uncle Peter. 
Alice Wainwright, a Niece of Aunt Polly. 
Pat Murphy, the Hired Man. 

This may be spoken with four characters by having Pat's 
part spoken off stage. 

Time of Playing: Thirty minutes. 

Costumes: Aunt Polly wears ordinary house dress in 
Act I; an old-fashioned silk dress in Act II. Uncle Peter wears 
his "Sunday" clothes with high collar, in which he appears to 
feel very uncomfortable. Bob and Alice wear ordinary clothes. 
Pat wears overalls and frock. 



TMP96-Q07004 

©C!,u r f ;46 2 
SEP 25 I9i8 



Uncle Peter's Proposal 

Scene: Aunt Polly's sitting room. Everything is plain out 
neat. 

Aunt Polly is discovered knitting. 

(Enter Alice with hat.) 

Alice. Oh, are you here, Aunty? I want to show you my 
new hat. I've taken the old trimming all off and put on some 
new ribbon. Don't you think I am quite a milliner? 

Aunt P. Yes, my child, you are quite handy with a needle 
and real tasty, too. I am glad to see it. So many girls nowadays 
are perfectly ignorant about such things. 

Alice. I wish you wouldn't call me a child, Aunty. I'm not 
a child any longer. 

Aunt P. I know you're getting to be quite a big girl, Alice, 
but you're not very old yet. Let's see, you're — 

Alice. Seventeen next Tuesday. 

Aunt P. Seventeen? So you are. And that makes me 
think — there's something I want to speak to you about. 

Alice. I know — it's about Bob. You think we're both too 
young. Now, isn't that it? 

Aunt P. Yes, Alice, that is it. I think young ladies and 
gentlemen ought to wait until they're twenty anyway before they 
begin to keep company with each other. That's young enough in 
my opinion. 

Alice. But look, Aunty! You waited until you were twenty 
and you haven't found anyone yet and you're most sixty now. 

Aunt P. Why, Alice Wainwright! Haven't I told you not 
to be repeatin' my age? 

Alice. I'm sorry, Aunt Polly. I didn't really mean to— it 
just slipped out before I could stop it. 

Aunt P. I suppose you tell it to everybody. Probably the 
whole town knows it by this time. You'd never have known it 
if you hadn't found it in the family Bible. 



4 UNCLE PETER'S PROPOSAL 

Alice. But I never repeat it in public — never. And really — 
you wouldn't want me to be an old maid, too, would you? I mean 
a spinster. 

Aunt P. Tut, tut, my dear! You mustn't ever let anyone 
hear you callin' me an "old maid." 

Alice. No, Aunty, but won't you tell me really and truly if 
you ever had anyone keep company with you — that is, gentlemen 
friends? 

Aunt P. What a question, Alice. Of course, I've had 
"gentlemen friends" — several of them. 

Alice. Then, Aunty, won't you tell me honestly and truly if 
you ever had a real out-and-out proposal? (Aunt P. exclaims 
"O-o-oh!") I won't tell anyone long's I live — honest I won't. 

Aunt P. Why, the idee! Of course I've had proposals. 
Didn't John Fletcher propose to me twice an' then went west 
because I wouldn't have him? I didn't accept him because he 
used to drink hard cider. Then there was Henry Bangs — 

Alice. What? Henry Bangs over to Beanville? 

Aunt P. Yes, the same one. I didn't take him because he 
was so proud an' stuck up when he was young — but, land sakes! 
I shouldn't be tellin' you all this. 

Alice. Oh, say! Is it true that Bob's Uncle Peter proposed 
to you once? 

Aunt P. Dear me! What a question box you are today. 

Alice. But I would so like to know. You see, Bob told me 
about it and — 

Aunt P. Did he say his uncle proposed to me? 

Alice. I don't remember whether he said he actually pro- 
posed or not, but he told me how he used to keep company with 
you. 

Aunt P. Well, to tell you the truth, Alice, we did used to 
keep company together. We went to singin' school an' picnics 
an' dances an' sech things. I thought the world of Peter an' 
I guess he did of me, but that flig;hty Miss Ransom came with 
her hifalutin' ways so that put an end to it all. I guess he was 
sorry after he married her. 

Alice. How long has she been dead, Aunt Polly? 



UNCLE PETER'S PROPOSAL 5 

Aunt P. Land! She died 'most ten years ago. 

Alice. And so he's been a widower ever since hasn't he? 
Bob says his uncle thinks a good deal of you now. 

Aunt P. Did his uncle tell him that, I wonder? 

Alice. I suppose so. (Sound of whistling outside.) Any- 
way, here comes Bob now. We might ask him. 

Auxt P. Don't you dare to ask him such a question. If you 
do I'll— 

Bob. What's all that you're going; to do, Miss Perkins? 

Aunt P. Nothin'. I was just talkin' to Alice. She's a 
regular question box today. 

Bob. Well, you know, Miss Perkins, that we young folks 
can only obtain wisdom by asking of people older than ourselves 
or by delving into books. As for yourself, you have gained 
experience with age. 

Aunt P. What's that, young man? 

Bob. I beg; pardon. I mean — er— that is — that you are 
gaining experience as you grow older same as the rest of us — in 
fact, same as everybody does. (Aside, with hand on heart) Gee! 

Aunt P. That expresses it better. 

Alice. Haven't you anything to do this morning, Bob, or 
are you a gentleman of leisure? 

Bob. Now that makes me think. Uncle sent me over to ask 
if you would be at home this evening, Miss Perkins. He's coming 
over to see about buying; your white horse. 

Aunt P. Of course I'll be home. Tell him I'm always home 
evenin's. What time will he be here, do you s'pose? 

Bob. About half past seven — soon's he gets his chores done 
up. You see he's got to have another horse for his spring work. 
(Enter Pat.) 

Pat. Miss Perkins, would yez be tellin' me phwat to do wid 
the calf? It's got itsilf all tied up wid the rope an' is kickin' 
loike a shtame engine, so 'tis. 

Aunt P. Mercy sakes! Can't you untie the rope or cut it — 
or something? 

Pat. Yis, mum, I've been thryin' to do somethin' but the 
pesky thing won't be houldin' shtill long enough for that. 

Aunt P. Well, I'll come an' see to it right away. (Exit 
Pat.) Dear me! I never had such a helpless man about the 
place before. This is the third time this mornin' I've had to go 
out to the barn to see to something. (Exit.) 

Alice. You came pretty near getting into a scrape that 
time, Bob. 



6 UNCLE PETER'S PROPOSAL, 

Bob. Gee! I did put my foot into it, didn't I? 

Alice. But you managed to squeeze out of it all right. 

Bob. Say, your aunt seems to have a lot of trouble with her 
hired man, doesn't she? 

Alice. Yes, he's a green hand right from the city and 
doesn't know much about a farm.. 

Bob. It's the same way with my uncle's housekeeper. She 
doesn't even know how to fry an egg decent. 

Alice. Isn't it funny? Aunty's an old — I mean spinster and 
your uncle's a widower, and both living side by side. 

Bob. And your aunt trying to run a farm alone. 

Alice. And your uncle trying to keep house with a new 
housekeeper every day or two. I should think — 

Bob. That's just what I should think too. 

Alice. "Why, how do you know what I was thinking; about? 

Bob. That's easy enough to guess. It's just what your aunt 
has been thinking about and just what uncle has been thinking 
about for a long time, but you know he's so shy about such 
things that he doesn't dare say it. 

Alice. Perhaps if you should give him a word of encourage- 
ment, or — 

Bob. Or give him a little stimulant? 

Alice. No, don't do that because if you should Aunty 
wouldn't have anything; to do with him. 

Bob. No danger of Uncle Peter's taking it, either. 

Alice. Sh — ! Here comes Aunty. 

Aunt P. There! I've got that calf straightened out again. 
I wonder what'll be next. Why, haven't you gone yet, Bobbie? 
Your uncle will be waiting; for an answer. 

Bob. Lots of time 'twixt now and night, Miss Perkins. But 
I guess I'd better be going after all. See you again, Alice. 
(Exit.) 

Aunt P. Well, now I must get the house slicked up if 
Peter's comin' tonight. I hope I can get a good price for Old 
Dobbin, but they do say Mr. Green's a great hand to drive a 
bargain. 

Alice. In some ways, Aunty, but I'm not so sure about 
others. 

Aunt P. Well, dear, do let's get to work an' get things 
ready. 

Alice. For Bobbie's Uncle Peter. 

Cubtain. 



UNCLE PETER'S PROPOSAL 7 

ACT II. 

Scene: Same as Act I. 

Aunt Polly is discovered powdering her face before a mirror. 

Aunt P. I must hurry an' get through before Alice gets 
back from the store. It wouldn't do to let her see me primping 
myself up like this. She would mistrust something the first 
thing. I half believe she thinks I'm settin' my cap for Mr. Green 
as it is. Well, she couldn't have a better uncle than he is. I 
hope if he does propose that I won't get frustrated an' say "No" 
instead of "Yes." I've heard of young ladies doing that before 
now an' then bein' sorry for it afterwards. (Looks at herself 
closely in glass.) Well, I guess that's as good as I can do it. I 
must hustle an' put away these things. (Places them in drawer 
or in box and carries off stage, returning immediately.) Now 
I'll get this apron off. Dear me! This makes me think of old 
times — I don't dare say just how many years ago — when Peter 
used to come to see me. That was before he married that 
highty-tighty Miss Ransom. (During this time she removes work 
apron and fusses about the room straightening tidies, cushions, 
etc.) I don't suppose things are any too slick over to his house 
but sometimes men notice things you never think of. Men are 
real funny about that. (Sound of Alice singing outside.) Well, 
here's Alice comin' now. I'm awful glad she didn't get here any 
sooner. 

(Enter Alice with magazine.) 

Alice. Here's the new "Ladies' Monthly," Aunty. There 
wasn't any other mail. (Looking closely at Aunt P.) My, how 
slick you look! You look good enough to meet the President. 

Aunt P. Why shouldn't? I consider any man who behaves 
himself equally as good as the President/ 

Alice. Why, Aunty, you look twenty years younger. 

Aunt P. You're just tryin' to flatter me. I know your 
tricks. 

Alice. Really, I'm not. You do look so much younger. 
What have you been doing? Oh, now I see — it's your hair and— 
and really, I do believe you've been powdering, Aunty. 

Aunt P. There, there, that will do. You mustn't let anyone 
hear you say that. 

Alice. You can trust me— I won't tell anybody— not even 

Bobbie. 

Aunt P. Don't you dare to whisper a word about it to 

Bobbie — not a word. 

Alice. Of course not, Aunty. I don't tell family secrets. 



8 UNCLE PETER'S PROPOSAL 

But say — everything's so spick an' span here that I hope Uncle 
Peter will shell out good — I mean pay you a good price for Old 
Dobbin. 

Aunt P. Really, I'd forgotten all about Dobbin. 

Alice. How funny! That's what he's coming over for, 
isn't it? 

Aunt P. Ye — yes, that's what Bobbie said. 

Alice. It's most half past seven now. I wonder if he isn't 
coming soon. 

Aunt P. Alice, I wish you would go into the kitchen when 
he comes. I think we can talk the matter over so much better 
alone. You always blurt things out so — things that hadn't ought 
to be told — that I'm afraid you might spoil the deal. 

Alice. Yes, Aunt Polly, that's my failing — and horse deals 
are such delicate affairs, too. 

Aunt P. Look, Alice! Is that someone comin' up the road 
with a lantern? 

Alice {gazing out of door) It's Bobbie. 

Aunt P. Land sakes! What's he comin' over again for? 
Is his uncle with him? 

Alice. No, I don't see him. I guess Bobbie's alone. 

(Bob is heard whistling a lively tune. Finally he enters.) 

Bob. Well, here I am again. "A bad penny always returns." 

Aunt P. Where is your uncle, Bobbie? 

Bob. (Looking around). Why, isn't he here? I thought he 
had come. I've been down to the barn feeding the colt and when 
I went to the house uncle wasn't in sight. 

Aunt P. Isn't that queer? You don't suppose he's forgot 
about it, do you? 

Bob. My Uncle Peter never forgets his appointments. Maybe 
he was upstairs changing his clothes. 

Alice (looking L.) There's somebody coming now, but I 
can't quite make out who it is — yes. it's your uncle. Come, Bob, 
let's go into the kitchen — 

Bob. While Uncle Peter is buying the horse. 

(Exeunt. Alice puts her head in at doorway.) Be sure and 
make a good bargain, Aunty. (Exit.) 

Aunt P. Dear me! What happy-go-luckies they are — just as 
I use to be when Peter an' I went to singin' school together. 
My! I'm real nervouslike. My heart goes pitty patter. (Sound 
of footsteps and of Peter clearing his throat.) Here he comes 
now. (Knock.) 

(Enter Peter Green.) 

Aunt P. Come right in, Peter. Let me take your hat. 



UNCLE PETER'S PROPOSAL 9 

Peter. Howdy do, howdy do, Polly. (Shakes hands, then 
sits down.) I declare, we live right here neighbors an' I ain't 
seen you in over two months. How be ye, anyway? 

Aunt P. I'm feeling pretty well considerin' the hard winter 
we've had. 

Uncle P. I can't complain neither. I've got a good appetite, 
sleepin' well an' doin' my share of hard work. 

Aunt P. I guess we all have plenty of that to do. I've been 
havin' an awful time findin' a hired man. The one I've got now 
ain't worth his salt. 

Uncle P. That's what Bobbie was sayin'. Funny thing too. 
We didn't used to have no trouble gettin' hired men years ago — 
first class ones at that. 

Aunt P. I'm sure pa never had any such trouble when he 
was alive. 

Uncle P. Of course not, all of which reminds us that the 
times are changin'. Take the young folks for instance — they're 
all jest crazy to get into the city. 

Aunt P. But after all they ain't no happier now'days than 
they were when we was young. 

Uncle P. Gosh sakes. no! Not so happy. Why, say, they 
don't have nothin' now'days like them old-fashioned dances we 
uster have. Eh. Polly? 

Aunt P. My! Didn't we used to have lots of fun! He! 
he! he! 

Uncle P. You used to be pretty spry on your feet them days 
an' I callate I was too. Didn't callate any of the young fellers 
could beat me much. 

Aunt P. I don't think they could, Peter. None of the girls 
thought so at the time. 

Uncle P. I guess not either. Haw! haw! haw! Say, an' 
how we did used to whoop it up at the singin' schools, didn't we, 
Polly? (Sings.) Do, re, me, fa, so, la, se, do. (Alice and Bob 
peep in from oack of drapery. Peter hitches chair closer to 
Polly.) Don't ye wish we had them singin' schools now'days? 

Aunt P. Why, I— I guess I do, Peter. 

Uncle P. Gosh, I do! I'd jine it in a minute — that, is pro- 
vidin' some others I know of would jine it too. 

Aunt P. Then there was the quiltin' bees too. Ma allers 
used to go to 'em an' I went with her. 

Uncle P. An' us fellers used to fetch up 'long about supper 
time. Whee! but them wimmen folks know jist how to tickle a 
feller's appetite though. Um-m! 



10 UNCLE PETER'S PROPOSAL 

Aunt P. It was the real old-fashioned cookin'. 

Uncle P. You just bet it was — it was the genuine stuff. An' 
say, Polly — (hitches chair) — the best of all was the goin' home. 
'Member how we used to pair off an' I 'most generally took you? 

Aunt P. Y — yes, Peter, I remember it just as well as if — 
well, as if 'twas last night. 

Uncle P. So do I — an' say, Polly, I — I — I'd do the same 
thing over again if 'twas tonight. 

Aunt P. Would you really, Peter? 

Peter. I sartainly would. We may not be spring chickens, 
but we're just as young as we feel — an', d' ye know, Polly (hitches 
chair and Polly hitches hers), I'm growin' younger every 
minute. 

Aunt P. Yes, Peter, I begin to feel that way, too. 

Peter (hitching chair, she does same). An' Id be tickled to 
death to go to another huskin' bee, too. Eh, Polly? 

Aunt P. Y — yes, Peter, I'd just love to go to one. 

Uncle P. An' I'd like to be the one to find the red ear, too. 
I have a sort of lingerin' suspicion as to who'd be the lucky gal. 

Aunt P. (aside). I hope his suspicion is the same as mine. 
(Aloud.) I wonder why they don't ever have any such thing 
now. 

Uncle P. Gosh, I dunno. The young folks don't seem to 
know what fun is now'days. 

Aunt P. But you — you boys didn't allers wait to find the 
red ears, you know. 

Uncle P. That's so, I guess we didn't. Say, Polly (hitches 
chair), I — I — h've been thinkin' of something I wanted to say 
to ye. 

Aunt P. (aside). If it's only what I hope it is. (Aloud) 
Yes, Peter, go ahead. 

Uncle P. Well, you see, Polly, I — I — I've — that is — I — I — 
you know I've been havin' quite a little difficulty with my house- 
keeper for a spell back. 

Aunt P. So Bobbie said. It must be awful hard doin' your 
farm work an' keepin' track of the house work into the bargain. 

Uncle P. You're just right it is an' so I — I — I've been 
thinkin' — that is — I — I've been thinkin' some of gettin' a more 
permanent housekeeper — that is — I — I — I — 

Aunt P. I should think you would, Peter. (Aside)I wonder 
what he means. (Aloud) Have you thought of anyone yet? 

Uncle P. Wal, yes, I have. I— I— I've been thinkin' that— 



UNCLE PETER'S PROPOSAL 11 

that— that is — I've been thinkin' that mebbe — that mebbe — 
(Aside) Gosh ding it all! 

Aunt P. Mebbe what, Peter? 

Uncle P. Mebbe I could get somebody like — that is — some- 
body like yourself. What d'ye think, Polly? (Aside) By hokey, 
I can't get it right. 

Aunt P. Why, I should think you might if you went at it 
right. It ain't a housekeeper you need so much, Peter, as it is a 
helpmate. 

Uncle* P. That's the idee exactly, Polly — that's what 1 was 
thinkin' of all the time. What would you — you — that is — (they 
hitch chairs) — what would you think of — of — 

Aunt P. Why, I'd think quite favorable of it, of course. 

Uncle P. Would ye really? Will you really come an' be 
my helpmate, Polly? 

Aunt P. Yes, Peter, I will. (Aside) There, I did say it 
after all. 

Uncle P. (chairs together). Say, Polly, that's a bargain — 
the best bargain I ever made an' that's sayin' a good deal. I 
callate it'll be a good thing for both of us. 

Aunt P. Oh, Peter, this is such a joyful occasion! When 
shall we announce the engagement? 

Uncle P. Any time — the sooner the quicker — but we'd better 
tell the young uns about it fust, hadn't we? 

Alice. We know it already, Aunty. 

Bobbie. You don't need to tell us, Uncle. 

Uncle P. What's that, Bobbie? You've been spyin' on your 
old uncle? 

Aunt P. Alice, I'm ashamed of you. 

Alice. We didn't mean any harm, Aunty. We just couldn't 
resist it. 

Bob. And we're mighty glad of it, Uncle. But how about the 
horse deal? 

Uncle P. Gosh, I'd forgot all about the hoss. However, it's 
all in the family now — or will be soon's the knot is tied. 

Bob. Well, you have our blessings, Uncle Peter and Aunt 
Polly. Don't they, Alice? 

Alice. Yes, and lots of them. We wish you all the joy 
possible. 

Bob. And then some. 

Alice. This has been a regular popping bee tonight. Bobbie 
and I have been popping too. 

Aunt P. Why, Alice Wainwright, what have you done? 



12 UNCLE PETER'S PROPOSAL 

Uncle P. What's that? You hain't been rash, have ye, 
Bobbie? 

Bob. I don't think so, Uncle. You see, we've only been 
popping corn. 

Uncle P. Haw! haw! That's a good one. We'll forgive ye 
this time. Eh, Polly? 

Aunt P. We can't do anything else under the circumstances. 

Alice. We've popped a whole dishpanful of it in honor of 
this occasion. 

Bob. In honor of Uncle Peter's proposal. 
Curtain. 



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345 W. Fayette St. 

Syracuse, N. Y. 



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ARE FAVORITES EVERYWHERE 



Hiram and the Peddlers. A farce in 1 act. The 
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Closing Day at Beanville School. The most popular 
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7m., 7f. (more or less). Time, 30 min., or more. 25 
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Seven Little Soldiers and Seven Little Maids. For 

primary or intermediate grades. A splendid patriotic 
number. Book contains also "The Little Patriots' 
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Midgets' Grand Parade. A delightful pageant for 
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Funny Little Food Folks. A novelty entertainment 
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Following the Stars and Stripes. A splendid new 
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For any number of children. Time, 15 to 45 min. 
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LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 





015 910 193 9 # 

Two Patriotic Numbers 

FOLLOWING THE STARS AND STRIPES 

A Patriotic Pageant by Willis N. Bugbee 

Introduces Betsy Ross, Minutemen, Daughters of 
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Sailors, Red Cross Nurses, College Boys, School Girls, 
Tradespeople, etc. Suggests songs, drills, dances, 
tableaux, etc. Should be included in every patriotic 
or Red Cross program. Price 25 cents. 

PATRIOTISM AT BOGGSVILLE 
A Play For Grammar Grades 

A lively little play full of fun and patriotism. Mr. 
Wigglesworth, a deaf old miser; Hi Bartlett, who al- 
ways does as Bill does; and Pat McGinnis furnish 
the comedy. A flag raising in the second act. A 
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